Traveling with pets--an odyssey

My company transferred me from The Woodlands, TX to Charlotte, NC. The following story is a real account of relocating with our pets, Sunshine and Lit'l Bit.

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Yes, I confess, I almost killed that cat…the temptation to just squeeze his neck was big, really big; then I would have walked out of the plane with a limp body!

It all started the day before I left; the cat had been meowing incessantly as I had him locked inside the house (didn't want to have to reschedule travel due to an AWOL cat). I thought I'd test the drugs the vet had given me and I gave him a whole tranquilizer (I don't have the patience to wait for 1/2 a mickey to do the job!). That didn't help, he was just got stuck on meowing.

That evening, on our way to the hotel, the cat is meowing as usual--any human would have lost his/her voice by now! you'd think all that meowing would affect his throat! Anyway, I'm hauling a** down Hardy Toll Road when something catches my eye in the rear view mirror…. It's the cat's tail! But right before the implications dawn in, the cat is between the two front seats, peeking at me from the arm rest! Next thing I know, the cat is making his way to my lap/chest. I tell my 12 year-old daughter, Megan: “ You'd better grab this cat or we're all gonna die!” Megan "tries" to pull the cat but his claws are firmly affixed to my clothes/skin. A few yells, a couple of tugs and swats, a few wild swerves on the road and the cat is off of me.

We made it to the hotel, somehow….we now have the dog on a leash and the cat in the dog's carrier, since the cat had carved a huge hole in his (that's how he got out on the highway). The dog will have to travel in the carrier with the hole.

Later that evening I had to lock the cat in the bathroom because he decided no one was going to get any sleep that night!

Following morning, before heading to the airport, I medicate the cat. Considering the previous day experience with the cat tranquilizer, I decide to give him TWO pills this time….and I took one (of mine, not the cat's). That cat sure looked scary, eyes half-rolled back, mouth hanging open, droopy ears….but as you will see, it didn't do a thing! We get to the airport; I drop Megan off with cat, dog and luggage, and sit her in front of the USAir counter while I go return the rental car. I specifically tell her, not to listen to her iPod so she can keep an ear on the cat, so that at the first sign of squirming, she'd do whatever was necessary to stop him and keep him from ripping a hole on this carrier too. When I come back from returning the car, ok, go ahead, guess what? Yup, the cat ripped a hole on the carrier.

In the meantime, the f’#@%ing cat relieved himself inside the carrier and there was this stench permeating everything within a mile radius. Going through security the cat needs to be taken out of the carrier and I must walk through the metal detector holding the cat. That's how I got the first coating of cat hair on me.

My friend Michael Jul Hansen calls me while I'm at the gate and offers, for a second time if we need help, this time I said “Yes! I will need help.” We get to the gate, and as I am waiting to board the plane, the cat starts to poke his head through the hole he just ripped open at the airport. The struggle goes on pushing on his head, trying to avoid being seen so that they do not deny us boarding due to the cat not being in a properly contained carrier. And just as I am going to enter the gangway, the cat gets half its body out of the carrier. I grab him by the scruff of his neck and proceed to board the plane. You had to see the steward’s face as I boarded the airplane--particularly his eyes--he stammered, "You, you, you have a carrier for that!?" I said yes and that I will put him in it once I sit down--he just got out while waiting in line. That's how I got the second coat of cat hair.

After seating down, I thank God the flight was not delayed!! I reached for my phone and called Michael and asked him to bring a HARD case pet carrier to the airport…he is full of questions but only asks for dimensions and where to buy it ….smart Michael.

We take off and the cat proceeds to act up: wiggle, wiggle, squirm, squirm, meow, meow…. you name it, it went on non-stop until….yes, he poked another hole on the other side of the carrier. In the constant effort to keep him in, Megan is sporting a huge gash on a finger and I have claw marks on my hands. I slipped him another mickey (that's 3 now…and at this point I don't care if the freakin' cat dies of a heart attack!!). With my ankles turned inward, I sit there attempting to keep the cat inside the carrier. The cat gets half way out of the carrier and I use a blanket to bundle him up and have him on my lap. That's how I got my 3rd cat hair coating.

Oh, the cat's happy now, but the stewardess comes by and insists he's placed back in the carrier, mumbling something about FAA regulations while I mumble something about scratches to the all the passengers if the darned cat gets out….It's all a blur from there.…and as we are landing, the cat made a break for it. I take my seat belt off (expecting to catch hell from the crew) and bolt after the cat…since he's so drugged he didn't make it very far. I return to my seat and keep him wrapped in the blanket on my lap. That's the 4th and final coat of cat hair.

Thank God for Michael; there he stood with a hard case cat carrier in his hands! And he was at the very exit before even heading to baggage claim. I realize that until then I had not been breathing deeply (first, because the cat’s urine stench, second I don’t want to inhale all the cat hair that’s floating around, and third, being on the expectative of what else the f*@#ing cat is going to pull). Michael described my appearance as I got off the airplane as having more cat hair on me than on the actual cat.

Up until then, the dog, who had behaved wonderfully decides to make a break for it through the hole in his carrier (remember, first carrier, first hole the cat ripped while on the highway?)! But that FAT little sausage gets stuck and can't quite make it out….we struggle to pull him through and he's just stuck. So we end up opening the carrier's long zippers, grabbing his butt and yank him out. He still twitches whenever I go near him.

The cat survived, and has kept us up every night since; meowing, scratching at the carpet underneath the door if we happen to lock him out of our rooms or bumping his head at the door if the claw-scratching doesn't have produce the desired results … So last night I banished him to the new house. I put his cat litter, plenty of water and food and left him there. I'll be checking on him every day, as I tackle the unpacking.

The dog is doing fine, he's proven once again that he cannot be trusted if you piss him off, i.e., if you leave him behind when I go out, he'll go in my room and poop. So he's living in the laundry room for the most part. He’ll be joining the cat at the house if he keeps that sh*t up.

If I hadn't paid hundreds of $$ to have those bastards immunized and transported, Charlotte's Humane Society would have its first two Houstonian pets available for adoption!

Belinda